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What are the best Jewish jokes?

09.06.2025 10:03

What are the best Jewish jokes?

And the man says : “Are you kidding me? I’m telling everyone.”

I’m not sure if this one qualifies but I’ll tell it anyway.

the man replies: “Oh, I’ve never been to confession, I’m actually Jewish.”

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And the priest thinks for a minute and then says:”Hmm, this is very serious my son, and there are a number of grave sins involved, so I’m not quite sure where to start. But let’s go with the basics: How long has it been since your last confession?”

So a priests starts the confession and the man in the booth says “Father, I wanted to tell you, I’m 65 years old and last night, at the bar, I met two beautiful young 21 year old college girls. We talked a bit, drank a bit and one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place where the three of us stayed up all night drinking and having wild, uninhibited sex. “

So the priest says:” Well if you’re not Catholic, why are you in here telling me all this?”

Why cant I feel anything in my sleep? I cannot even feel myself moving, breathing, and swallowing saliva! I cannot even hear anything, not even my alarm! Some people that I've been with says that I'm moving a lot in my sleep, how can I stop it?